Treachery is such sour sorrow
by Angel15116
Summary: Why is Lemony Snicket forced to be on the run while writeing the Baudalaire's tale?
1. Olaf's strange Behavior

"Lemony, Lemony Snicket." Lemony slowly opened his eyes and looked around. He was sitting in on of the large arm chairs in the V.F.D. Library with a book in his lap. He looked up into the eyes of on of his closest friends, Count Olaf, and smiled.

"Olaf! What are you doing here?"

"We're leaving."

"Where to, and how? Not to mention why?" It was then that Lemony noticed something different about his friend's eyes. They were cold, anxious, evil and excited all at once.

"Never mind all that, I'll explain in the car. Now, go pack all of your things. It is two in the morning so no one should be awake. A girl once told me that the best time to sneak out is when everyone is asleep." Lemony stood up and stretched. He was suspicious about the instructions Olaf had given him but could think of no reason not to listen. He walked to the dormitories to pack his things.

"Aren't you ready yet?" Olaf asked when he came into Lemony's room.

"I only started packing," replied Lemony as he carefully placed a stack of papers containing evidence of a plot against V.F.D. into his suitcase. He went to his wardrobe, and pulled out all his clothes and began folding them and piling them into his suitcase. In a draw in the wardrobe there was a single item. A small blue box covered in velvet. He opened it to see a diamond engagement ring he had found beneath a pile of ashes on a small unknown island and had sworn to one day give to Beatrice.

Lemony packed his last item in his suitcase and zipped it shut. He picked it up and turned to his friend. "All right," he said. "Let's go." They walked out of VFD and were greeted by an old rusty car. In the front seat was a very fashionable woman. Lemony squinted. He knew he had seen her, if only once, and many years ago. She was the wife of an ex-VFD member named Jerome. Lemony had gone to their wedding, but that had been the last rime he had seenm either of them. Jerome quit VFD after he married so he did not need to come up with excuses everytime he had to go to the headquarters.

"I've always liked the name Sunny," Mrs. Baudalaire commented.

"I think we should give our child a more old-fashioned name. Sunny is too modern.," replied her husband. "Maybe Klaus." Another member of VFD silently offered everyone at the table pistachio nuts from a bag he often carried and looked back down at his designs of snow-melter.

"What if you have a girl?" asked Mr. Quagmire.

"Why don't you name it after one of you?" asked Beatrice.

"I think we should," agreed Mr. Baudalaire. "Klaus if it's a boy, and Violet if it's a girl." Mrs. Baudalaire nodded. "I can't believe we'll be leaving VFD."

"Someday we'll tell our children and they can join so we'll all live up here together." Just then Jauques Snicket entered from the dormitories looking worried.

"Anyone seen Lemony?" asked Jauques, looking particularily at Beatrice, who tended to know most of Lemony Snicket's whereabouts. But before he could answere, a man covered in snow walked in.

"Jerome! What are you doing here?" Cried everyone in the room in near unison.

"Normally I wouldn't come up here since I retired, hehe, but this is rather important. I tried to tell the police but they were rather busy, and you know how I hate to argue. I'm rather terrified of bears, but Esmè is missing and this is the only place I could think of."


	2. In the Car

"What do you mean she's missing" asked Jacques. Jerome looked confused.

"As far as I know, there is only one meaning. But I shall explain myself anyhow. When I went downstairs, she wasn't making her morning coffee as usual. I looked all over the Penthouse, which took me over an hour. We just bought a knew one in the Fancy Housing District," Jerome explained. "So I went to the doorman, thank goodness elevators are in right now. He said she left at eleven o'clock last night."

Beatrice looked around. "Lemony is also missing. Do you think the disappearances could be connected?" Kit entered with the swimming coach right then. "I'm going to go ask Olaf if he knows anything."

"It's no good," Kit said sadly. "Olaf is missing too."

**_At the same time:_**

Lemony didn't like this ind of quiet, especially when it left time for Esme to stare at him. "So, you married Jerome?" the way she was looking at him, she almost seemed to be reading his mind. Esme nodded. "Good friend of mine. Olaf where in the name of VFD are we going? And couldn't it of waited until there was enough light to see?"

"This has waited long enough, Snicket." By knowing him for many years, Lemony had learned that nothing good ever came after Olaf called him "Snicket." The best thing that ever happened, was that Kit, Jacques and Lemony got confused about who he was talking to. Since Lemony was the only Snicket in the car, there could be no doubt.

"Look miss, I'm not trying to be rude, but do I have something on my face?" His nerves had snapped and Esme was making him very nervous.

She shook her head. "I'm just trying to find out why Olaf chose you of all members."

"I'll tell you later. In the meantime, will you two keep it down? I can't drive with all that noise." Once again, an eerie silence filled the car. _At least she isn't trying to win a stare down with me._ Olaf's promise of information seemed to have calmed her. It did nothing for Lemony however, except perhaps make him more nervous. He continued to look around, searchinfor authorities or someone who might recognize him. He didn't know why, but he was worried about being recognized with these two people. He began to drum his fingers on his knee as he often did when nervous. As soon as there was enough light to see by, he reached into his bag and pulled out his packet of evidence. There were several things he had not written down that he had meant to, and he should write down these suspicious actions of Olaf and the reapperance of Esme, who should not know anything about VFD, and yet did. Esme looked over at his work.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "Just some paperwork." He didn't think it wise to tell her anything more than that.

"What about?" she asked in a falsely sweet voice.

'That's my business," he replied through clentched teeth. She had already cracked several of his nerves, made frail by being awake this early. Just then, Olaf swerved off to the side, sending everyone forward. Lemony just managed to keep his papers from going everywhere, but he didn't manage to control his temper quite as well.

"Damn it Olaf, you want to kill everyone in this car?" Olaf spun around and snatched the fileand read the first paragraph quickly.

"You will find yourself killed if you keep up with this little bit of "paperwork" Snicket." Olaf then stuffed the papers into his briefcase and joined the morning traffic. Lemony could tell by the look on Olaf's face that he hadn't been kidding.

AN: thanks to all those reviews. Sorry i didnt update for a long time but i started several other stories.


	3. Weasles and cobras, oh dear!

This story is probably going to be last on my priorities, in case you haven't noticed. Thanx, as always, to the reviewers. Keep it up!

"Should we start a search party?" asked Beatrice.

"I'm leaving with my crew for a submarine expedition. I'll keep an eye out," Kit volunteered. The swimming coach gave her an annoyed look. "I think both your eyes will be more successful if they are in your head." Kit rolled her eyes.

"It's just an expression, which here means, 'I'll look for Lemony, Esme and Olaf.'"With that, she left.

"Perhaps we should go out to look," suggested Mr. Quagmire. Jerome, come help me get some people to help, and we'll alert the volunteer feline detectives. We recently got new ones so that the lions that were still working here when you worked with us could retire. Jerome nodded and exited chatting away cheerfully. The man with the pistachio nuts scribbled away even faster at his sketches and then paused to offer everyone some of his nuts.

At this point, Lemony Snicket was scared. They had been driving for three days, stopping every so often at gas stations. He was losing lots of work time, had passed several fires he and Olaf should have helped put out, yet every time they passed a fire, Olaf laughed and muttered something inaudible. In addition, Lemony had found a pack of matches in the back seat.

Because Olaf had not told Esme anything, she had become anxious again, and began starring at Lemony unendedly. (AN: is that a word? He began to wish Olaf would tell him something.

"Would they be in the Varied Zoo Dome?" questioned Jerome. Though he had good intentions, this was a semi-selfish suggestion. He loved animals, but Esme never wanted them in the penthouse because they were prone to ruin the furniture. He missed the dome most of all, and his friend who worked there.

Mr. Baudelaire shrugged. He doubted it, but there was no where else to look at the headquarters, and the felines would have the surrounding areas. "I doubt Lemony would, and I think there other two, or at least Olaf, are with him. Lemony's terrified of weasels, and a bunch just arrived last week; the zoo keeper still hasn't gotten them all together. But, there's no other place to look, so let's go, I'm sure you're excited to see the-" but he stopped talking when they entered the dome. There was a lot of noise, with animals shouting and screeching, people walking, and repair being done.

The two searched every nook and cranny. "A rather peculiar word cranny," Jerome spoke up. "I've never heard it used in any other context besides 'nook and cranny.'" They were getting up from interrogating a pair of monkeys (unsuccessfully) when a voice called out: "Jerome! How good to see you! Would you like to visit with my new cobra?" Jerome accepted this offer graciously from his friend and followed Dr. Montgomery into his office to see the reptile.


	4. Olaf opens up

The lions were having very little luck. They had found car tires in the mud that certainly smelled like Olaf's car, but they were only able to follow it for several miles before they lost the tracks and scent. This meant that the Volunteer Feline Detectives were forced to stick to the surrounding area and look aimlessly without leads.

Jacques was getting annoyed. He realized that Dr. Monty (as most VFD members called the Herpetologist) and Jerome hadn't seen each other in years, since the night when Dr. Monty brought a Boa Constrictor to Jerome's wedding reception and it ruined the cake, but there were more important matters. Wasn't Jerome worried about his wife? Jacques was getting anxious, as he always did when something went wrong and he couldn't do anything.

"Dr. Monty, have you seen Lemony or Olaf recently? Jerome's wife, Esme is also missing, " Jacques broke in.

"Well, why didn't you say something sooner? I do believe I saw Olaf's car, when I was out looking for mice for my corn snake. It was time for Ricky's lunch. There was a woman who looked familiar with Lemony in the backseat. It was about four this morning." Jacques thanked thanked Dr. Monty and dragged Jerome away from the giant horned and spotted water serpent.

Olaf pulled up alongside of an empty cow field. It was time to reveil is plan. And then tell Lemony what would happen if he didn't join along.

"Lemony, do you know what a schism is?" At this, Esme sighed loudly. "Olaf, dahhling, you explained this part to everyone," she whined.

"Not to Lemony! If you don't care, just ignore, but you might learn something of interest this time," Olaf snapped.


	5. Yelling and Cluelessness

"A schism is a division of a group into two or parts because of a disagreement," quoted Lemony. As a researcher and writer, he knew many definitions. But he didn't understand what this had to do with being kidnapped. "I suppose you want to know what this has to do with kidnapping you," Olaf continued.

"There's going to be a schism at VFD, and Olaf is starting it. You already knew that something was going to happen, thanks to all your research," Esme explained quickly. "Now can we drive to an 'in' inn?"

"Esme, how many times do I have to tell you," the Count shouted. "When you finish my sentences, it ruins the anticipation." One thing villains enjoy, other than killing people and stealing fortunes, is revealing their evil schemes. Esme wasn't so much in this rebellion for the villainrey, as much as she was because Olaf had a car which was considered very "in."

"Because you did suspect something, Snicket, you are given a choice," muttered Olaf dangerously. "You can join our side, or die under suspicious circumstances when this car crashes into a tree and catches fire." At this, Esme sighed loudly.

"Olaf, dahling, _ we _will have caused the crash! What's so suspicious about that?"

"Of course we caused the crash!" Olaf shouted, immediately feeling better. Yelling, of course, really doesn't help anything, but Olaf enjoyed it none the less. Particularily when he was yelling at living things that are defenseless. "We're trying to confuse the police and that ridiculous organization, VFD, not ourselves."

"Little late for that," joked Lemony. Olaf glared at him. Esme, having no idea what that meant, tried to figure it out.

"It's harder than you think," Esme informed her companion. "I was a police officer once, you know. When it was in, obviously."

"Honey, I hate to break it to you, but most folks are quite a bit smarter than you are," Lemony mocked, talking in a slow voice. Normally he wasn't sarcastic or rude, but being nervous and tired can make people do things they don't often do.

At the headquarters:

"The key to finding Lemony is to find that car," Jacques reasoned.

"We had better use the horses. There aren't any cars left, and we can't follow on foot if we want to catch up," Jerome pointed out. Jacques agreed. Once on the horses, they went off in the direction given to them by Monty.

"So, who is this Olaf?" asked Jerome. "And what does he have to do with the disappearance?" Having been gone as long as he had, it was reasonable that he was a little confused.

"Lemony and Olaf are best friends. For the past few months, Lemony, Kit and I have been working on a file titled "The Snicket File," due to our suspicions about a conspiracy within VFD. Perhaps Olaf took Lemony away to protect him against that very conspiracy. I have no idea how your wife works into this whole thing."

"But," began Jerome. "Conspiracies only exist in the government. They're those crazy ideas that people make up about aliens being hidden in the Southwest."

Unfortunately, Jerome is wrong on several counts. Conspiracies are not just limited to the government, can have absolutely nothing to do with aliens, and take place very far away from the Southwest.

Even worse, Jacques was also wrong. What Olaf was up to was the very opposite of protecting Lemony.


End file.
